Woman refuses to pay half of mortgage after fiancé insists in front of broker that only his name will be on the house: 'He said it's only fair he has rights house in case we end things'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
May 12, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Buying a house for the first time with your partner is a huge milestone, and a scary one at that. But unfortunately, in today's economy, most couples can barely afford a house, let alone agree on who pays for what. Even renting feels like a luxury. This morning, I passed a cute little apartment complex on my walk and thought I'd check if any were available. They were not. The only option was to buy, with two-bedroom units starting at a gracious $1 million. I had to do a double take. They didn't even look like luxury apartments, just your standard brick and beige combo. Anyways, back to this story,

As frustrating as the housing market is, it's nothing compared to the drama that can come up when two people aren't on the same page. Take this couple, for instance. She thought they were buying a house together until her fiancé dropped a bomb in front of their mortgage broker. 

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    via Jakub Żerdzicki For Unsplash+

  • "AITAH for telling my fiancé I won’t help pay the mortgage?"

    For some background, I, 29F and my fiancé 30M have been together for 10 years. We had a baby back in 2020 and I lost my job around the same time. Our lease to our
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  • apartment was up and my grandma offered for us to move in with her so we did. We basically had our own little apartment rent free. I had thrown the idea of going to school out there and everyone
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    Rent-free?! Why would you ever leave…

  • agreed it was a good idea, my fiancé paid for it and my grandma watched my baby while I went to class. I graduate this semester (I did part time for a couple semesters). My fiancé has been
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  • making 90K a year for the past couple years and 70K when we first moved in. He's saved a good amount of money. We agreed to wait to get married until I finished school and we could buy
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    *He's saved a good amount of money… because of her grandma's free rent and the free childcare. 

  • a house together. We've been looking at houses more seriously for a past couple months and found one we both love. We started talking to a mortgage broker and that's when he dropped
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  • the bomb on it being HIM and ONLY HIM on the mortgage and the deed. He said I wouldn't have anything to do with it. I didn't say anything in the meeting but afterwards I told him I thought WE
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  • were buying the house together and I'd pay half the mortgage. He said I would be paying half the mortgage but my name just wouldn't be on it. So I told him that would mean I'd have no right to the house and he said he
    via embarrassinglemon
  • Cheezburger Image 10503725312
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • knew?!! He said since he saved the 40% down that it's only fair that he has the rights to the house in case we end things. I told him if that's what he wants to do then I'm not paying for the mortgage.
    via embarrassinglemon
  • I said this isn't a partnership and if he just wants his own place fine but I'm not paying for it. He called me a btch saying that he paid for everything for the past few years including my schooling. I told him I
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  • stayed home and watched our child so we didn't have to pay for daycare and that ended up saving us money since I would've been only able to work part time. He said he didn't care and I need to pay for half since I already agreed to it.
    via embarrassinglemon
  • ogo7 Are you still living in your grandma's place rent free? If so, I'd stay there and start saving for your own down payment.
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  • Western_Fuzzy OP, do not marry this man. You currently have a free place to live, and he wants you to pay half the mortgage to increase his equity. If
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  • anything goes wrong, he'll be living large on your contributions (childcare, the free apartment that you got him to facilitate saving, and half the mortgage you would have paid up until that point) and you'll be out on your a00.
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  • He pulled a bait & switch on you in the most demeaning way in front of a broker, then called you a b-tch. Like other commenters, I doubt this is the first time he's shown you who he is. Regardless,
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  • believe him. He doesn't value you or respect you or your very real contributions at all. NTA.
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  • FrontTour1583 NTA. He got free rent and free child care thanks to your family which allowed him to save that money. If your name isn't on that house you shouldn't put a dime into it.
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  • Vivid-Awareness 191 NTA If your name isn't on the deed, don't pay the mortgage. Honestly, I'd
    via Vivid-Awareness
  • debate moving into a house that was just his and then getting married. If he wants help with the mortgage, then he has to accept that you will also own the house.
    via Vivid-Awareness
  • ShingingSir NTA ! First of all he should never call you a bi*ch, that is so disrespectful. Second of all, while it is significant
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  • he put 40% down, it's not like you were goofing off. You took care of your child, you were in school; it's a partnership. It doesn't sound like he wants a partnership. The only reason he was able to
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  • save so much is because of you and your family's help. You are so smart not to pay a mortgage on a house you don't own. Do NOT accept him owning that house when he explicitly said
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  • it because if you break up he gets to keep it. Not that it would necessarily mean that if you get divorced, but it would help his case. I can't imagine this is the first time he's
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  • shown some selfish or resentful behavior. You should have a serious discussion and think of starting counseling to work through this. At any rate, don't let yourself be financially edged out or at yourself and your child up to fail. Good luck!
    via ShingingSir

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marriage drama house homeowner parenting petty couples family breakup fiancé broker karma parents entitled people morgage
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